HUB DAY: The Day of the Bubble
Today was the holy day of Hubbists. Hubbism is the belief that the world was created by Hub the bubble. All believers congregated in Prospect Park by the picnic house and rejoiced with bubble gum, donuts, and pink lemonade.
The Hubbists prepared for two sleepless days. In that time they prepared pink togas, they planned festivities, they made signs, they walked one another on leashes through bookstores, they had a nut chuckling ceremony (oh wait, no they didn’t), and committed some blasphemy with some Bible blackout poetry.
The High Bubblies read out the Story of Creation and the Story of Flubberbutt Bill to the younglings and then they sang a beautiful holy song, “Hub will Save Your Soul, Have a Donut Hole” as they passed out the holy communion of donut holes. They followed that song with the new hit, “Don’t Pop the Bubble, You’ll Get In Trouble, You’ll Die a Horrible Death Death Death Death.” Then they played Chase the Bubble in a field and had a grand old time.
Then the congregation ate pink donuts and took shots of pink lemonade. Then the congregation took more shots of pink lemonade. And then they took some shots of pink lemonade. Little Bubble H. told everyone he got drunk on pink lemonade along with all of the High Bubblies (apparently).
Now a guessing game. Which one of these did a Hubbist actually do?
a) Bubbly Manuela pooped her pants.
b) High Bubbly Shaylem died.
c) Charlie got poisoned.
d) A grown man wore a pink bodysuit for the entire duration of Hub Day.
And then the Hubbists Gambled. And then High Bubbly James for once in all of Flying Squad was happy because he won all of High Bubbly Chuckles’ money. And then the Hubbists played a game of throwing balls at each other. Ooga booga caveman brain while High Bubbly Alex cleaned up all of the damn litter. And some of the Bubbles finger knitted and it was fun.
And what we learned today is Praise the Bubble and Hub will Save Your Bubble.